 UN
Inspectors Find Mickey Mantle Rookie Cards in "Mint" Condition
At a press conference before meeting with
European Union officials in Brussels Thursday, Chief Weapons Inspector Hans
Blix shows some of the specimens found at the ammunition storage area investigated
earlier in the day. Blix was quoted as saying "Zee messege-a ve-a vunt
tu breeng tu Beghded is, zee seetooeshun is fery tense-a und fery dungeruoos
und iferybudy vunts tu see-a a fereeffied und credeeble-a deesermement ooff
Ireq" ... read on ...
Tom Ridge Urges Vigilance; Entire Towns Duct Tape
Themselves
Jim
Goodrod, of Pine Nut, Arkansas, wrapped his whole family in duct tape. Jim
punched small holes near his family's
mouths that would never let Anthrax in, in order that they be able to breathe
and drink liquids. Today, every citizen in Pine Nut is wrapped in duct
tape from head to toe. "Let me point out that I was the first to do
it!" Jim exclaims ... read on ...
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Diplomacy
looked even less likely when Hans Blix reported that his team of UN Inspectors
had uncovered a stash of Mickey Mantle rookie cards. Americans were again warned
to remain vigilant.