Anti-American Association of America To Convene for Annual Conference
2003 Peoria Event Rife With Controversy

I thought a $2.2 trillion budget seemed a tad excessive, and I said so. I've regretted it ever since.	I hung my flag outside improperly. When Tom Ridge came to my door, I knew my Anti-Americanism had gotten out of control.	I really don't like Alan Jackson, Charlie Daniels, or Dennis Miller. That's why I'm here.
I admit it - I was caught whistling to the Dixie Chicks in my car.	I cited the constitution to support a point I was making about personal liberties. Horrified, I realized I was a "constitution nut" - and an Anti-American.	I'm trying to fuckin' play Atari here!
I used to watch FOX news but I switched to PBS - my wife caught me and, well, here I am.	Ari Fleischer? Can't say I've heard of him.	I often wake up in a cold sweat yelling "Where are the WMD?!" It's become a problem and I'm here to address it.

5/12/03 - "Hi, my name is James, and I'm an Anti-American."

These words mark the opening of a yearly event that has, for the most part, gone unnoticed, but has attracted increased scrutiny lately. For years researchers have tackled a difficult question: Is Anti-Americanism a crippling disease? Can an Anti-American control his behavior? Can it be treated with behavioral training or are medications a more effective option?

Regardless of the answers to these difficult questions, the Annual AAA convention attracts a wide array of Anti-Americans - from the unapologetic to those who seek support for what they see as a meddlesome or even dangerous affliction.

Last year's event included volleyball, barbecue, and a spirited tug-of-war.

"We like to stage team-building exercises," explains Tom Fudgenik, director of the Allentown, PA chapter and national events coordinator. "This year will be especially exciting, as Sheryl Crow will be performing."

"The event can be described in one word: fun," claims Margaret Higgins, who joined the group after she slipped up and called freedom fries "french fries". "That in and of itself was cause for alarm, but I found myself drinking Perrier a few days later. I signed up right away," Margaret admitted.