Accepting the Annual Acronym Award on behalf of WMD was Uncle
Sam, the producer of much of the world's WMD known-knowns, that
is to say, WMD we know we know, because they were made by the
US. |
Winner of Annual Acronym Awards is a No-Show
2/21/04 - Some
of those in attendance at the 2004 Acronym Awards ceremony thought
for sure that this time they would finally catch a glimpse of the
reclusive WMD, which lost to MILF by a narrow
margin in last year's competition. But alas, even with weeks
of promos promising that it would show up, and repeated breaking
news that they had found WMDs*, the top honor
of this year's Acronym Awards was a no-show.
While WMD wasn't present, leaving some to
wonder if WMD had ever existed, most at this year's gala event still
enjoyed watching all the big acronyms come out on their big night.
Present with a larger entourage than usual this year was FCC, who
mandated that the event be on 5-second tape delay in case Michael
Moore showed up, per the insistence of more
than 200,000 people. But by the end of the night, FCC was sitting
with a whole table of acronyms like MSNBCGE and AOLCNN, and no longer
represented more
than 2,000,000 people.
Also spotted was Operation Iraqi Liberation (OIL) with longtime
girlfriend PNAC,
a pair rumored to be dating since the 90s, although PNAC usually
keeps herself out of the public eye.
Shock and awe filled the Amazon.com Arena when longtime acronym
stalwart SUV, there to receive a lifetime achievement award, was
seen on the jumbotron with his new
young bombshell MOAB, and told the press after the show that
their budding relationship grew so strong in the past year because,
as they describe, "we really compliment each others' lifestyles
so well."
In an odd moment towards the end of the event, SARS streaked the
floor of the arena, sending people panicking into the aisles. As
people ran amock, TSA
came by and put little notes in people's luggage saying they're
been in there.
Related:
 •
U.S. To Unleash More Weapons of Mass Delusion
Biological Agents Part of the Plan
 •
MILF Takes
Top Honor at Annual Acronym Awards
Barely Beats Out WMD, to Rumsfeld's Chagrin
• Colin
Powell's Map of Iraqi Sites That Contain Weapons of Mass Destruction
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