Iraq To Turn Over CD-ROMs Containing Biowar Plans, Allow Unfettered Access to "Favorites" Folder
Officials Investigating Source Of Technical Expertise

10/2/02 - Intelligence agents stormed the Bay Ridge Home Computing Learning Center in Brooklyn early this morning on a tip that Iraqi agents had posed as students and infiltrated several computer classes. It is feared that the suspects were able to gather confidential information such as how to save files, change screensavers, traverse windows explorer, and save key websites in a "favorites" folder on their browsers. The suspected agents enrolled in these classes using false identification with "white-sounding" names, completely circumventing the background checks on citizens of Arab descent required by John Ashcroft.

Questions and suspicions arose after Iraq, based on an agreement to allow weapons inspectors back into the country and turn over weapons plans and equipment, handed over four CD-Roms containing information regarding equipment, substances and technology that could be used in the production of weapons of mass destruction.

Law enforcement officials were stunned to find that, according to the Internet Explorer history tab on several workstations, students had been visiting sites related to bomb-building material, offshore bank accounts, and Brooklyn Middle Eastern restaurant listings. The officials hammered the instructors to find more information, gravely concerned that the Iraqis may have had access to CD burners and possibly even file-sharing networks such as Kazaa and Morpheus right there in the classroom. An anonymous FBI spokesman conceded the possibility that Iraq actually made copies of these plans before turning them over to the United States.

Critics swiftly attacked intelligence agencies, saying they should have suspected something was amiss when one of the students demanded his chair be gold-encrusted or else "face the wrath of Allah, who will oversee rivers of blood in the land of the Great Satan", according to instructors.