9/25/01
- Gary Condit was crying simultaneous tears of grief and joy this
week, as the American public completely forgot that he was strongly
connected to the murder of his mistress, Chandra Levy. Despite the
appearance of several "Have You Seen Me" signs bearing
Ms. Levy's face around New York City, citizens have no recollection
of who this woman - or Gary Condit himself - is. Some observers
have found Mr. Condit's behavior bizarre lately. Last month, he
was seen emptying bags of fresh animal carcasses into Florida beach
waters. Shark attack investigators are still "fishing"
for clues as to why he may have behaved in such a fashion. Tragically,
nobody signed for the Thank You Teddy Bear at Mr. Bin Laden's
residence, and it was marked "Return To Sender".
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