Print ads appearing in most periodicals this week show HP's
hugely popular 86000 series of high-speed network laser printers
/ shredders. Printer output is shredded as quickly
as it can be printed, thereby avoiding the paper trail
that always seems to become legal problems
down the road. |
Sales
of HP's New
Printer /
Shredder Expected to Remain Brisk
Briskness Attributed To Overwhelming Commercial Success, Government
Contracts Will Make It Brisker
11/8/03 - Multifunction office peripherals finally met the current
demands of corporate irresponsibility with the introduction of the
world's first combination printer/shredder. And sales of HP's 86000
series are only expected to increase as the government begins to
pile on contracts.
"Folks can't help but print e-mails, spreadsheets, and the
like ... they've been conditioned to do so, but company
secrets are meant to be kept just that," says HP Senior Vice
President of
Junior Vice Presidents Blarg Zarbarfargar. "So in this kind
of scenario, we
help eliminate that auto-trigger folks seem to have with e-mails
by
shredding them moments after it's printed."
While few white
collar crimes ever make it to the courtroom, the sheer volume of
corruption leaves corporations with little recourse but to destroy
documents that employees print that would otherwise be forgotten
on the network printer. But HP's 86000 series can also be used as
a timesaving device for middle-managers that know their budget proposal
or recommendation won't see the light of day anyway.
"Boy,
this is really fantastic, I'm loving it," said Harold Rove,
Director of Human Resources at Globex Corp, Inc. "I can
now, for example, send my ideas for improving the company's health
plan
straight to the printer/shredder instead of bothering with getting
it turned down by management."
Some models in the 86000 series also include fax and copier capabilities.
On the high end is the HP 86990XL, a copier-fax-scanner-printer-shredder
that can print at 40 pages-per-minute and copy at 50ppm, while
simultaneously shredding at nearly 100ppm. The machine is not recommended
for environments frequented by small children and pets. |
