Women's Magazines Promote Self-Esteem By Advocating Whoredom; Typically Edited By Losers

6/2/02 - A startling report revealed that the editors and sponsors of Cosmopolitan, YM, and Seventeen magazine are a group of sex-starved nerds whose stated goal is "a society of female promiscuity attained by convincing women that gender liberation is achieved through lots of sex with multiple partners and the mastery of oral sex."

According to an independent review of young women's magazines, 62% of the articles focused on promoting promiscuity while 38% of the articles focused on how to pleasure men to achieve happiness. It was also found that 100% of the articles made up 1% of the content. The other 99% of the content consisted of advertising.

"Why is it bad for women to be sluts while it is good for men to be studs" asks Nerd McTurd, editor-in-chief of Seventeen Magazine. "The answer is obvious - a woman can get laid any time she wants while losers like me can't even pay for it. That's nature and that's the way it is. It really sucks for us guys, to tell you the truth. By leveraging "female liberation" and leftist dogma, we were able to convince most American women that it is perfectly fine to fuck around with hundreds of men in order to "get respect" and "take the upper hand" in this society. Television shows like Sex in the City definitely help our cause."

Humor Is Dead editors celebrating

As a result, even Nerd McTurd and the editors of Humor Is Dead are getting laid these days without so much as an ounce of wooing, let along showering, grooming, or buying expensive dinners. Thanks to great strides in feminism and pop media, sucking a stranger's cock in the back corner of a McDonald's is all the rage and is a great way of 'celebrating femininity" The women's magazine editor consortium has experienced a bit of a backlash lately, as women are reporting that they are getting dumped once their dating partners find out the amount of cockgobbling they have performed in their lifetime. Go figure.