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Shadow
Government Emerges From Hole, Sees Shadow
2/3/04
- Competing for
press time with Punxsutawney Phil, D.C. Dick emerged from his hole
yesterday morning and saw his shadow, indicating that it would be
six more weeks until the US invaded another country.
"It was
beautiful to see our government in action," said Carol Harold
of nearby Stump, Virginia. "Every country should be free like
us here in America. I love freedom."
As part of the
celebration that ensued, NASA announced
plans to send twin rovers to the distant Vice President. One would
be sent to the forehead, to confirm scientific theories that hair
once flowed over the landscape. A second probe will enter the veep's
innersphere to search for signs of morality.
In related news:
 Medical
Device Makers In Ethical Dilemma Over Continuing To Prolong Dick
Cheney's Life
Halle
Berry, Tim Burton Wed in Private Weekend Ceremony.
Actress Takes Filmmaker's Name; Secures Government Contracts as
"Halle Burton"
Pay
No Attention To The Man Behind The Halliburton
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