Contact Us


©2005
Humor Is Dead


Kim Il Jong's fan club caricature
Official North Korean News Agency Web Site Nominated for Webby in Humor Category
Onion Leads Voting Among Local and Area Men and Women

12/16/02 -
The DPRK Central News Agency has stifled the competition for this year's Webby Awards in both "Comedy" and "Literature" categories for 2002.

The Webbies are presented annually, and represent the best websites the internet has to offer. Ho-Min Park, official webmaster of the site, had this to say about the competition:

"The Onion is urged to behave itself and drop its unilateral and high-handed attitude and brigandish logic. Blackmail will never work on the DPRK news agency. The Onion thinks it can act rashly and threaten the people of the DPRK. But this is the height of folly. The Onion, and all other imperialist websites, should keep this peculiar, brazen-faced arrogance in check and mind its behavior and trite method."

The official judges of the Webby Awards chose to recognize the site, which is really just a graphically-slick (and incredibly hip) representation of the North Korean daily newspaper, for its tongue-in-cheek humor and its stunning command of the King's English. The site is chock full of waggish skylarking and raillery - much of it directed at imperial thuggery and triteness.

We now present the best headlines and excerpts from the North Korean News Agency culled from ONLY THE LAST 2 MONTHS:

Headlines

U.S. will get nothing but defeat and death
• Brazen-faced nature peculiar to Japan blasted
• U.S. unilateral and high-handed attitude flayed
• KCNA assails U.S. bellicose forces' trite method
• U.S. hostile policy towards DPRK denounced
• KCNA flails U.S. moves to stymie inter-Korean exchange and cooperation
• U.S. warned not to act rashly
• U.S. anti-DPRK vituperation under fire
• U.S. termed arch nuclear war criminal
• U.S. arrogance and unilateralism under fire
• U.S. blackmail will never work on DPRK

U.S. frenzy diplomacy to pressurize DPRK under fire

U.S. urged to drop its arrogant attitude
U.S., seed of war
U.S. arrogant practice under fire
U.S. hindrance flailed
U.S. Forces' hindrance
U.S. hostile policy toward DPRK flailed
Greetings to Yasser Arafat
U.S. brigandish demand under fire
U.S. deceptive remarks about missile threat from DPRK refuted
U.S. moves to escalate tensions on Korean Peninsula flailed in S. Korea
U.S. warned not to act rashly
U.S. mean distortion of truth under fire
U.S. urged to drop its unilateralism

Choice Journalistic Excerpts
 The U.S. seems to try to accuse the DPRK of being a dangerous terrorist state and justify its hostile policy to stifle the DPRK with nukes. But it is the height of folly.

No one will lend an ear to the U.S. absurd assertion about the "nuclear issue" and the "issue of terrorism" in the DPRK. This will only lay bare the U.S. brazen-faced and vulgar nature as a nuclear warmonger and a kingpin of terrorism. The U.S. should bear this in mind and behave itself.

The U.S. trite method to stifle the DPRK with a hue and cry over the "threat" from the DPRK has already gone bust.

The U.S. is well advised to face up to the reality and behave with decorum.

The U.S. is seriously mistaken if it thinks that the DPRK will sit idle with folded arms under this situation.

The United States is becoming noisier in the row over the "threat" from the DPRK, changing its subject everyday. This only more saliently reveals its peculiar arrogance and unilateralism.

The U.S. demand is little short of forcing the DPRK to drop its arms itself and live in sham peace as a servant of the U.S. arms are vital to the Koreans and a master key to all their victories.

No matter how hard the U.S. is working to accuse the DPRK of posing a "nuclear threat" to it, it can never hide its true colours as a warmonger and an arch criminal

It is a daydream of the U.S. to try to bring the DPRK to its knees. The United States is well advised to behave itself, properly judging what sort of disaster it will have to meet with.

The U.S. is letting loose all sorts of vituperation against the DPRK under various absurd pretexts in a bid to garner international support for its policy to pressurize and blackmail the DPRK. But it will get the U.S. nowhere.

The U.S. hard-line hawks are making much fuss about the DPRK's alleged development of biological and chemical weapons. But for the U.S. policy to stifle the DPRK with nukes the nuclear issue would not have arisen between the DPRK and the U.S.

It is an anachronistic miscalculation that the U.S. considers its brigandish logic to be effective in the DPRK

The U.S. crafty hoax and cynical ploy will never work on the DPRK.

What they said is sheer hypocrisy and no more than window dressing intended to cover up their true aim of aggression. The Bush administration has become insolent enough to escalate its offensive to stifle the DPRK with nukes on a groundless charge that the DPRK has pushed forward a "nuclear program".

The U.S.-led madcap joint military exercises targeted against the DPRK are going on in and around South Korea.

This is an expression of their (Japan) cunning attempt to fish in troubled waters by acting a shock brigade to carry out the U.S. reckless strategy based on preemptive nuclear strikes and currying favor with it.

The Bush administration should drop its brigandish superpower logic that a big country is free to threaten a small country but the latter should not counter the former's threat.

 The Ministry of the People's Armed Forces sent a floral basket to the Cuban embassy here to mark the 46th anniversary of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Cuba.
Related:
Kim Jong Il to Leave 'Axis of Evil', Pursue Career In Fashion Industry
Evil Axis Hires Vince McMahon, Aims For Marketing Blitz

[an error occurred while processing this directive]