Above: With signs like "Not In Our Name", and "Never Forget" messages aimed at Florida Republicans, pachyderms from near and far congregated on the grounds of Republican National Headquarters on Saturday to show displeasure towards their likeness being used to represent the Republican Party. Several arrests were made, and one officer was reportedly trampled when trying to subdue a protester with a tranquilizer dart. Below: Across the street at the Amoco station, our cameras noticed a lone "pro-Republican" protester displaying his support for the Grand Ol' Party. Named for the screen legend, "Dumbo" proudly grasps an American flag, and his play-on-words with the Barnum Circus logo on his forehead [see inset] is, well, it's actually pretty damn creative for a circus elephant, especially a Republican one.

Elephants Organize Protest Outside Republican Party Headquarters

7/1/03 - To the beat of their thunderous stamping and the chorus of their trumpeting wails, hundreds of thousands of "unpatriotic pachyderms" encircled the Republican National Headquarters to formally, once and for all, show their displeasure at the Party for the damaging PR they have caused the species throughout the animal kingdom.

"Many other animals simply won't associate with us," said Augustus, a 13,000lb African Elephant now living in Chevy Chase, MD. "We've essentially been blacklisted in the wild. We never agreed to the terms of our likeness being used by the Republican Party, especially not as depicted in blue and red garb, and certainly not the three satanic stars."

Protest organizers put the number at about 450,000 participants, while the AP guessimated 'between 27-32'. In a related side note, counting has never been a strong characteristic of the major news organizations.

"From environmental to foreign policy, we stand in direct opposition to the agenda of the Republican Party," said one elephant at the San Francisco protest on The Embarcadero, one of many simultaneous protests across the country Sunday [as Saturday was an elephant religious holiday]. "They also conveniently 'forget' their campaign promises after elected, which is very, uh, un-elephant-like."

At GOP Headquarters, police were called in after a few hours to halt the protest, with Republicans claiming the elephants violated a city ordinance by eating all of the surrounding vegetation. When mice proved ineffective in chasing off the elephants, a late 19th century piano complete with authentic ivory keys was brought to the scene, at which point the elephants got the message. Ganapatyas could not be reached for comment.