Saddam - Al Qaeda Connection Uncovered!
Authorities Find Auspicious Smoking Gun on Friendster

9/26/03 - Despite several members of the administration suddenly claiming that there is no evidence that Saddam Hussein has any ties to Al Qaeda, intelligence officials yesterday uncovered a "smoking gun" connection through popular website Friendster.

Saddam's Connection to Osama:

Osama's Connection to Bin Laden:

High-ranking intelligence members of the secretive cyber-SWAT team department of the FBI were able to crack into the Friendster website by using a series of highly secret search terms, such as "Saddam" + "Bin Laden" and then tracing complex data connections between the two, apparently by examining each of the suspect's "personal network" and deconstructing their interests to find similarities.

As it turns out, both suspects were interested in "walks in the park", "terrorism" and "destroying the Great Satan." Further analysis revealed that each suspect was only a few degrees of separation from each other, meaning the two were definitely "tight" enough to warrant suspicions of collaboration.

John Ashcroft has ordered an exhaustive review of every member of the Friendster network, to be performed at Guantanamo bay over the next few weeks.

"With the help of the RIAA, we will track down every Friendster member we deem an unlawful combatant and question them until we get something," Ashcroft declared this morning.