Nerds Disappointed By Classic Play

4/3/02 - A gaggle of nerds left the Manhattan Ensemble Theater bitterly disappointed with The Golem, a play that has nothing at all to do with the character from Lord of The Rings and actually retells the legend of a 16th century Rabbi in Prague, who molds and animates a huge clay figure to defend the Jewish community from attack.

When faced with historical reality and human characters, the nerds became immediately restless. Sources say the nerds fled during intermission in the hopes of still getting in on the weekly Dungeons and Dragons competition.

Lawrence Sacharow, the director, was distraught by the intermission exodus. Sacharow pointed out that character, though not a blind creature who lives in an underground pool and speaks with a lisp, was nonetheless green and "otherworldly" in the play.

The theater is weighing whether to put a disclaimer on the advertisements for the play to explain that J.R.R. Tolkein's characters are absent from the play.

Matthew Anderson, also known as "Gandalf1362" on the Lord of the Rings Discussion Website, "JRRTOL-FAN" on Instant Messenger, and "Elven-Ring322" on the alt.net.lord-of-the-rings newsgroup, expressed his dismay. Reportedly, his wizard character, "gondaur", received 12 "hitpoints" - the results of a surprise Orc attack - seriously damaging his chances of finding the Lost Ring.

Anderson's friend, who was wearing a gnome costume at the time, is also know as NerdyNerdy8 on the GeeksSite, LameAss4 on the SadLoserBoard, and BigNerdBoy on IM. Nerd expressed a sense of nerdiness as some inconsequential fantasy occurrence caused him to become nerdily frustrated.

Drenched in magic and mystery, THE GOLEM reworks an ancient Talmudic legend. A 17th century Rabbi in Prague molds and animates a huge clay figure to fight for the Jewish community, which has been threatened by accusations of spilling the blood of Christian children. The play's theme of the Jews' disinclination to protect themselves from violence carries with it an unmistakably powerful echo of the horrors of the Holocaust - a prophetic quality that lends the pre-WW II work an unusually contemporary relevance.