Canada, United States Agree to Construct Wall Along Border
Continent-Long Divider To Represent Newfound Ideological Split While Serving An Expanding List of Practical Purposes

The 'proof-of-concept' section of the massive Freedom Wall has already been constructed, separating Westhope, North Dakota from Lyleton, Manitoba.

1/11/03 - Plans for a two-hundred foot high concrete wall to be built along the entire length of the border between the United States and Canada were unveiled yesterday at a press conference held at a soon-to-be-bisected Niagara Falls. The "Great Wall of Canada", as has been already dubbed by the Canadian press, was hailed by both governments as "a necessary step" in order to "preserve" the increasingly distancing policies of each country.

"The longest unprotectionable -- impertectived -- er, unprotected border on the planet will finably be erectimicated," exclaimed an excited and tongue-tied George W. Bush. "Terrorists, cheap lumber, and that marijuana devil-weed will no longer be able to cross into our freedom-loving country. Americans love freedom. Laura loves freedom -- and America. Laura thinks the wall should be called 'The Freedom Wall' and I think that is fabulous for America."

"We don't want any of those clowns up here," commented Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, who was equally enthusiastic about the wall's go-ahead, albeit for different reasons. "How else are we to stop the mass migration north? Besides, another nice feature of the wall is the height, as it will keep the rush of water from our melting polar regions [caused primarily by U.S. policy] from flowing into the United States, which incidentally also creates a moat between them and us."

"I expect the wall, when viewed from here on Earth or as seen from outer space, will remind future generations of the politics in North America at the turn of the Millennium," said internationally known wall expert David Dullass. "Walls are kinda symbolic that way."