Tour Group Plans Iraqi Vacation in 2004
Democracy To Be In Full Swing

3/30/03 - Reacting to President Bush's promises of Iraqi democracy, tour groups and airlines are gearing up by offering 2004 vacation packages. Tours include visits to presidential palaces, Busch Gardens Iraq, and Nebuchadnezzar Square - a replica of Times Square in the desert.

Halliburton Tours, a subsidiary of Halliburton, will be offering 5 and 7-night packages. "Once we've liberated all the oil wells, we'll be able to divert some of our funds to building grand tourist attractions in the desert, reminiscent of Las Vegas. All the ingredients of a modern democracy will be in place - military rule, Disney World, and advertising."

Insiders say President Bush's plan for rebuilding Iraq, called "Al-Vegas," will entail transforming Baghdad into a string of large glitzy casinos and "fantastic buffets." Government studies show that whoring and gambling are essential ingredients for both democracy and tourism. Some critics have balked at the plan, claiming that democracy cannot be installed overnight. Such critics were shackled and tossed in body bags bound for Gitmo, as well they should have been.

Jim Boucher of Omaha has already booked his flight to Baghdad and is looking forward to the trip. "I can't wait to check out The Bechtel Grand - it's going to be the largest casino on earth. And the odds are much better than Vegas since the employees make much less than minimal wage there. I'm also looking forward to The Mesopotamia - it's a casino and resort - but it is also an exact replica of Mesopotamia - with lots of exciting, flashing lights, poker tables, and seamy entertainment."

Iraq, also known as Freedomland, will also have plenty of attractions for the kids, including Oil World an oil park with exciting rides. The kids will love Pirates of the Persian Gulf, a scary trip through oil country with multinational corporations and foreign governments lurking in the shadows. Watch out for France!