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Wah-Wah Surgically Removed From Foot of Metallica Guitarist

1/19/02 - Hammett is out of surgery and doing fine. Kirk suffered from a rare foot problem. He apparently had a wah-wah pedal attached to his foot. "Kirk is recovering nicely. Only time will tell if he is able to solo without a pedal.", said Dr. Vicknair. "Kirk's condition had been worsening since 1996, and we wanted to take care of it before any problems arose."

The surgery, which lasted a little over an hour, went without complications according to doctors. Lars and James viewed the operation, and actually sold tickets to the viewing room.

"We figured this would, uhh, like give our die-hard fans a chance to witness something that most bands don't offer, a surgery performed on a member. It's not like he has any input into the band.", commented Lars. Hetfield responded with "We wanted to know if they could get Lars' head removed from his ass." "We're doctors, not gods.", Said Ph.D Rex Lithgow.

Metallica's law team also copywrited the term and any procedures of foot surgery, so anyone that wants to have anything done on their feet will have to gain permission from the bands' management. "We can't have people going around using the term 'foot surgery' in everyday life.", commented the band's manager.