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2005
Humor Is Dead

Lego "Rebuild Iraq" Set Said To Carry Heavy Price And Responsibility
"Will Keep Them Occupied For Years To Come" Says Toy Maker, Cheney

4/13/03 - Sure to be on every kid's Christmas list this year, and most likely forgotten by the next, is Lego's new mammoth "Rebuild Iraq". A whopping 985-billion-billion-piece playset with no instruction manual, the set will only be available to children of the United States but may require the help of the UN.

"The possibilities are endless," says Johann Liechner, Senior Vice President of Marketing for Lego. "Iraq can be rebuilt in any number of ways - it's a big responsibility."

With the big responsibility comes a hefty price tag. Children should be well advised that it may take close to a year's worth of incessant whining, lies, and threats if there is to be any chance of getting Iraq.

In related toy news, Electronic Arts will be joining forces with Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown & Root to bring an "Iraq Rebuilding" Expansion Pack to the popular line of The SIMS PC game. Limitless funds courtesy of the American taxpayer will allow the user to develop oil fields, build pipelines, squash local uprisings, as well as build airfields and bases along the borders of the country for as-of-yet undetermined reasons.

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