MILF Takes Top Honor at Annual Acronym Awards
Barely Beats Out WMD, to Rumsfeld's Chagrin

2/24/03 - MILF was the acronym on everyone's lips in 2002, according to the judges at this year's Annual Acronym Award Ceremony. The acronym was one of many in attendance at the star-studded event, which included past winners UNSCOM, LOL, and MIB.

SUV, which swept the awards for the last 2 years, was not met with the accustomed fanfare this year, perhaps due to the work of a handful of socially and environmentally-conscious industry players. The acronym is still going strong among the 30-40 crowd, though. As usual, rumors were running high about its romantic involvement with OPEC - SUV's date for the third year running.

IAO, a newcomer this year, was reportedly acting very suspicious. Despite being nominated for an award in the "Best New" category, it lingered in the shadows, carefully detailing the event and apparently jotting down long memorandums about the attendees - behavior usually confined to FBI and CIA. Incidentally, the two did attend the awards again this year and, as usual, sat very far apart and refused to acknowledge each other.

B2B, which enjoyed a fantastic career during the nineties economic boom, was noticeably missing. Rumors have been circulating recently about the acronym's fall from popular business parlance and its resulting bouts with alcoholism and depression.

Overall, the event was a success for its creators and its advertisers. However, a row did ensue when DPRK, which was explicitly barred from the event, tried to sneak in as WKRP. BRB, who was seated next to the incognito acronym, became suspicious when it noticed DPRK making a play for WMD - something UN, an annual favorite at the ceremony, frowned upon. DPRK was immediately escorted out of the show. WKRP officially denied having anything to do with the intrusion, as it's alibi in Cincinnati checked out. BRB did not make any statements to the press, as it was temporarily unavailable.

Once again MILF refused to reveal its origin in its acceptance speech. "I can't tell you exactly where I came from," said MILF. "But I can tell you that it has been a busy year for me." Indeed it has (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)