Michigan Movement Gains Momentum

6/10/02 - A substantial movement gained some momentum yesterday as a result of a mix of prune juice and cereal high in fiber, according to Doctor Benjamin Post. The movement has reportedly passed all the major intestinal sphincters and is nearly ready to squeeze into the rectum of John Grueller of Flint, Michigan. The movement has troubled Mr. Grueller for some time, causing much worry and discomfort to him and his family.

Dr. Post performed a general examination and determined that a diet high in fiber may in fact rectify the situation, causing the offending movement to increase its rate of advancement and ultimately reach its rectal objective. The physician has noted excellent progress over the last few days, leaving Mr. Grueller with a bright outlook on the situation. Family and friends expect the movement to reach its ultimate destination in the next day or so. Even if this were to happen within the day, the movement would be an historic one.

The movement was slow to build on Monday and, through out midweek, gained very little ground and saw little support.

By Friday, the movement and swelled and lurched forward, brightening prospects for an imminent breakthrough.

By Saturday, doctors hope to see the movement continue its surge, and finally attain its objectives.

Note: Diagrams are provided as a dramatization and are not necessarily reflective of the actual dimensions of Mr. Grueller's intestinal tract.