Oscar the Grouch To Host New "Reality Education" Talk Show
"Sharing Will Just Get You Screwed In The End" to be Premiere Segment

10/11/02 - After a long contract dispute, Oscar the Grouch has decided to leave Sesame Street to start his own "reality education talk show" with sidekick Eeyore. Sesame Street producers concede that they could not afford to keep Oscar and wish him well with his new show, rumored to air in place of Sesame Street in some markets.

The show will include such segments as "Enjoy Life While You Can, Kid - It's All Downhill From Here," "Fighting Is More Effective Than Reasoning" and "Schools Are Institutions…Just Like Prisons." Eeyore's role will entail visiting schools to find children engaged in "feel-good" activities, telling them their efforts are futile, and dispensing high doses of Ritalin and Valium to set them straight.

Oscar's role will be more prominent, as he plans on following a talk show format where the featured guest discusses his or her latest endeavor and Oscar responds by saying, "Who cares?" "Leave me the hell alone, will you?" and "Sounds like a complete waste of time." Guests will include Tony Robbins, Mister Rogers, Barney, and the Dalai Lama.