Services Held For Predator Drone
1/26/03 - With another possible drone downing serving as a solemn backdrop, funeral services were held today for an unmanned Air Force Predator spy plane shot down last month over Iraq. In attendance were Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Gen. Richard Myers, an F-18, several imperial probes, and nearly a dozen humans.

In a statement of solidarity, seemingly representing their similar prioritization of the news, CNN and Fox News simulcast the sunrise ceremony aboard the USS Constellation. The TV movie rights were quickly acquired by Viacom/CBS, while Harper Collins secured a book deal and Hasbro was granted exclusive development to the line of unmanned drone action figures.

"This robot will not have died in vain," orated Father Thomas Qwerty. "We thank the tireless efforts of the American military - spending most of the last month searching Iraq for the remains of this drone, reassembling it, thereby giving it the proper burial deserving of all Americans [and/or it's robots]."

The gathered mourners were said to have been "moved" by the service, in fact, they were moved several times as fighters jets participating in Operation Infinite Iteration arrived and departed the flight deck.

Many other unmanned drones were spotted in the sky during the ceremony as appropriate tribute to their fallen friend. A 21-gun salute concluding the funeral accidentally shot down three additional drones.

Asked to comment about the loss of his cohorts, veteran drone XJ-223 responded angrily, "010110010110111101110101001001110111011001100101001000000110011101101111011-
1010000100000011101000110111100100000011000100110010100100000011010110110100-
10110010001100100011010010110111001100111001000010010000000100000". C-3P0 could not be reached for translation.