Selves Threaten Themselves With Consumption©
by Slim Jim®

3/26/04 - "I'd Like To Order Dessert Now" (TM) and other similar language has been ruled a threat to its speakers, is considered obscene language, and is now banned from US restaurants carrying freedom fries.

In related news, McDonald's was fined by the EU® for bundling proprietary desserts with "Happy Meals". In a statement issued by the EU®, they have subjected the royal arches to change their wording to "Meals That May Or May Not Lead To Satisfaction" ((TM) pending). A Supreme Court Judge ruling the case (who has asked to remain anonymous) was quoted, "God's Will Be Done". After converting from the polygamist Moron tradition, the judge recently declared himself a "far right" born-again Christian, but "not quite a Protestant".

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