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Sit 'N Spin Helps Arafat, Sharon Make Peace

6/5/02 - In a startling display of solidarity and will, Yassir Arafat and Ariel Sharon have finally come to terms, ensuring peace and stability in their region for decades to come. People rejoiced in the streets of Palestine and Israel today, throwing aside nail bombs, cyanide capsules, and machine guns to embrace in harmony, unity, and happiness in the arms of each other. Nations worldwide are both shocked and pleased at the recent developments in the Gaza Strip.

During the last day of a series of intense conferences for peace in the West Bank, it seemed as though all was lost. Another offensive hung over the heads of the Palestinians as the Israeli's refused to budge from their negotiations. Meanwhile, the maintenance staff was cleaning out a portion of storage at a Jerusalem Compound. One worker was seen carrying out a Sit 'N Spin toy, prompting the leaders to break from the talks and enjoy some time on the spinning seat.

After an hour of spinning in the town square, a throng estimated at 300,000 Palestinians and Israelis all cheered and danced while waiting in line for their turn to Spin into the new generation of peace in the middle east. The two leaders were said to have actually shaken hands over the wheel handle, making history somewhere between 1.5 and 2 G's according to sources close to feel the wind of change. One teary eyed onlooker cried, "Thank you Playskool!"

"I didn't have it but my cousin had a blue one," Arafat was quoted as saying as his turban blew off in full tilt. Sharon, gleaming with sweat from his most recent spin said: "I started spinning and you'd think that thing was going light! Tubule and hummus all over the place! " Yassir could not be reached for further comment due to unforeseen nausea.

American officials were stunned at the truce and the circumstances with which peace was attained. "You've got to be f*cking kidding me." George W. Bush stated as national intelligence revealed the news. "If I'd have known, I'd have brought my GI Joe Sit 'N Spin over months ago. It's rediculoneous!"

Central Intelligence Officials are now debating on solving other important world issues with toys from past generations. "We are weighing the options of using 'Coleco Vision' to teach basic guerrilla tactics in the Philippines and Pong and 'Connect Four' to deter terrorism. When that all blows up in our face, we plan on using 'Pogo Balls' and 'Big Wheels' to escape danger, while communicating through Fisher-Price Walkie-Talkies."