Korean-American Wins Olympic Event. Crowd Silent.

An Olympic Fan

2/25/02 - Pro-American spectators were totally silent after a Korean-American won the speedskating competition yesterday at the Olympic Games in Utah. The crowd, which thus far has only reacted with 100% cheering for Americans or 100% booing for non-Americans, was stunned into silence when Koo Duk Kim, an Asian-American, won the gold. As the confused silence lingered, officials moved quickly to disqualify Kim, giving the medal to John Smith, and yielding a roaring chant of "U-S-A! U-S-A!"

"We had to move quickly," one of the American officials said. "It is a confusing situation. Mr. Kim LOOKS Korean. He could even pass for North Korean - who really can tell? Yet, he is competing on the American side. Such a quandary is difficult for our viewers to understand. Should we actually cheer for Mr. Kim when our instinct is to boo? Yet he has an american flag on his uniform. It is clear how such inconsistencies can lead to stunned silence. When Bush says "Let's Roll," we're supposed to roll against those people aren't we? Very confusing."

In an effort to avoid such situations in the future, American olympic officials have asked that all Asian and Arab nations kindly withdraw from competition.

In the words of one fan, "Hey - you're either with us or against us...none of this in-between business".