Conspiracy Theories Rekindled as Terrorist Act Matches Snapple Flavor

10/22/02 - Cadbury Schweppes, the parent company of Snapple brand beverages, is once again forced to defend the subsidiary against the popular conspiracist theory that the company is owned in part by Osama bin Laden. This comes after reports that bin Laden helped in part to fund the "Bali Blast", a terrorist attack that happens to match a recently-discontinued flavor of the popular fruit beverage.

Adding to the PR misery of the multi-billion dollar consumer goods megacorp were several compelling pieces of evidence supporting the ownership claim. Osamaownssnapple.com, currently off-line due to intense server drain, was first to shed light on the 'clues' embedded in the Bali Blast label - evidence so strikingly soothsaying that even top Wall Street Analysts were asking the company what they knew about the terrorist attack and when they knew it.

"Look at the volcano in the background of the image," writes Eddy Reitman, owner of osamaownssnapple.com. "There's a volcanic explosion symbolizing the blast, and the sky and sea is blood red. More amazing, though, when this image is enlarged, a mathematical equation can be seen at the base of the volcano, which correctly predicted the date of the terrorist attack, which was one year, one month, and one day after 9/11."

"Also, close inspection of one of the pieces of fruit reveals the unmistakable image of Osama bin Laden. There may also be the image of Abubakar Baasyir from the Islamic fundamentalist group Jemaah Islamiah somewhere in the pineapple."

Cadbury Schweppes has declined to comment on the naming of the beverage, the embedded imagery, and their accurate prediction of the attack date. Quietly, Snapple management has sent memos to their distributors confirming the delay of two new flavors, "Aspen Avalanche" and "Cancun Killer Juice".

As a precautionary move, other Cadbury Schweppes brands are being pulled from store shelves worldwide, including all colors of Hawaiian Punch for their "pro-violence stance", Dr. Pepper for fears of false representation, and Clamato simply because it's disgusting.