TRIFECTA! (Laughter)

6/27/02 - As recently reported, Bush has been tearing up his speaking tour with his brand of bumbling, dry humor, getting a cheap laugh from the nation's recession, multiple wars, and the national emergency du jour.

(As of this writing, the "national emergency" seems to be the country-old debate: separation of church and state as promised in our constitution, versus the "one nation, under God, indivisible" bit which, uh, arguably seems to be in direct contradiction. "One nation, under arrest, indisputable" is being considered as a potential replacement.)

Back to Bush's anecdote. Ending with the wickedly funny use of the word "trifecta", the "joke" has appeared numerous times in recent months, as the (s)elected president recalls a time in Chicago when he said he would only allow deficit spending in a time of war, recession, or national emergency. To his delight, and the reaction from the gathered drones in audience, all three of these things have happened! A brilliant narrative, and a great comic word! The W? It's for "Wordsworth"

The following is a sampling of the variants of the "trifecta gag" Bush has used all over the country (often at the Hyatt), gathered from a site with endless depths of immaterial: www.whitehouse.gov.

"You know, I was campaigning in Chicago and somebody asked me, is there ever any time where the budget might have to go into deficit? I said only if we were at war or had a national emergency or were in recession. (Laughter.) Little did I realize we'd get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 2/27/02 -- Charlotte Convention Center, Charlotte, North Carolina

"You know, I remember campaigning in Chicago and somebody said, would you ever spend a deficit? And I said, only if we're at war or we had a recession or there was a national emergency. Little did I realize we'd get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 3/1/02 -- The Marriott Hotel, Des Moines, Iowa

"I'll never forget one time in Chicago when a reporter said, would you ever deficit spend? And I said, well, only -- only if we were at war, only if there were a national emergency, or only if there is a recession. Never did I believe we'd get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 3/27/02 -- Grand Hyatt Hotel, Atlanta, Georgia

"I was campaigning in Chicago one time and a fellow said, would you ever allow for deficit spending, would that ever enter your vocabulary? I said, well, under certain circumstances: only if we're at war or there was a national emergency or there was a recession. Little did I realize we'd draw the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 3/27/02 -- The Palmetto Expo Center, Greenville, South Carolina

"You know, when I was campaigning in Chicago, in the general election, somebody said, would you ever deficit spend? I said, well, only if we were at war, or there was a national emergency, or we were in a recession. Little did I realize we'd get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 3/29/02 -- Hyatt Regency Hotel, Dallas, Texas

"I remember campaigning in Chicago one time, and the guy said, would you ever deficit spend? I said, well, only if we were at war, or the country was in recession, or there was a national emergency. (Laughter.) I didn't realize we were going to get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 4/3/02 -- Four Seasons Hotel, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

"The recession -- no question, I remember when I was campaigning, I said, would you ever deficit spend? And I said, yes, only if there were a time of war, or recession, or a national emergency. Never thought we'd get -- (laughter and applause.) And so we have a temporary deficit in our budget, because we are at war, we're recovering, our economy is recovering, and we've had a national emergency. Never did I dream we'd have the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 4/16/02 -- Meeting of the Leaders of the Fiscal Responsibility Coalition, Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building

"You know, when I was campaigning in Chicago one time, they said, would you ever have a deficit? I said, I hope not. I said, I think it's important for us to make -- to work hard to have a balanced budget. But I said, yes, I'd have a deficit if I were the President only if we were at war, or in a recession, or in times of emergency. I didn't think I was going to draw the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 4/29/02 -- Crowne Plaza Pyramid Hotel, Albuquerque, New Mexico

"You know, when I was running for President, in Chicago, somebody said, would you ever have deficit spending? I said, only if we were at war, or only if we had a recession, or only if we had a national emergency. Never did I dream we'd get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 5/10/02 -- Hyatt Regency Hotel, Columbus, Ohio

"I remember -- I remember campaigning in Chicago, and one of the reporters said, would you ever deficit spend? I said only -- only in times of war, in times of economic insecurity as a result of a recession, or in times of national emergency. Never did I dream we'd have a trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 6/7/02 -- 14th Annual World Pork Expo, Iowa State Fairgrounds, Des Moines, Iowa

"You know, we -- these are extraordinary times. I remember campaigning and somebody said, would you ever deficit spend? I said, only if there was a war, or a recession, or a national emergency. (Laughter.) I didn't think we were going to get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 6/13/02 -- Dwight David Eisenhower Executive Office Building

"You know, when I was one time campaigning in Chicago, a reporter said, would you ever have a deficit? And I said, I can't imagine it, but there would be one if we had a war, or a national emergency, or a recession. (Laughter.) Never did I dream we'd get the trifecta. (Laughter.)" -- 6/14/02 -- Hyatt Regency Hotel, Houston, Texas

Damn. That's [sarcasm alert] funny. Sadder still, there was no reporter in Chicago, and there is no record of Bush ever saying it back when campaigning in 2000. Sadder to a whole new level, the quote has now been attributed to Gore, who relayed variations on Bush's theme at least three separate times, stating, "Barring an economic reversal, a national emergency, or a foreign crisis, we should balance the budget this year, next year, and every year." (Here's one from 1998, and another from later in the year, and one from 1999.)