"Free Airfare To Cuba" Reads Title of Surprise New Government Program
Sudden Reversal For State Department Lead Some To Speculate Grander Purpose

5/5/03 - The Bureau of Consular Affairs at the State Department has announced a rare travel "promotion", offering, as a gesture of good will, free trips to Cuba for qualified American citizens. More information on return flights "will be available upon arrival," says State Department spokesman Richard Boucher.

"The Travel Information Association (TIA) is working closely with the State Department in creating a list of 'candidates'," said Boucher. "Just call our 800 number, or e-mail us with your name and social security number, and we'll process your claim based on our, uh, criterion. Additionally, you may have already have won your free tickets to Cuba - watch your mailboxes for your 'early admissions' letter."

By court order, NPR will begin airing the advertisements on Monday, followed up by print ads on the commentary pages of the nations' prominent newspapers. Billboards will also be placed in blatantly liberal strongholds.

The surprise shift in attitude towards Castro's Cuba has been met with some criticism. Those criticizing have been put at the front of the list. And first class seats on direct flights are available to certain members of the press that have been so brazen as to question Ari Fleischer. Helen Thomas has apparently already left the country via private jet.

In related developments:

Detentia Inc., a Halliburton subsidiary recently known as Kellogg, Brown, & Root, has been building accommodations in Cuba for the planned influx of Americans.

Ferry service has also begun at dockside voter registration centers in poor and middle class communities around the Florida peninsula.