Humor Is Dead - Wal*Mart's Asterisk Crashes Onto Unsuspecting, Thrifty Customers

Above: CNN was suspiciously quick to the scene when the asterisk from a Wal*Mart Supercenter somehow got loose and slid down the front of the store, crushing a Buick and critically injuring three women. As a result, the ISP hosting walmartsucks.com has charged domain owners with bandwidth over usage penalties, as did the ISPs hosting walmart-blows.com, walmartsucks.org, sprawl-busters.com, and againstthewal.com.

Below: It appears the US is suffering from an infectious disease per this Wal*Mart store location indicator. Canada isn't much better off. Or maybe each dot represents the number of small family-owned businesses that close each month due to Wal*Mart's unethical business tactics. Or is it incidents of fish abuse?

Wal*Mart's Asterisk Crashes Onto Unsuspecting, Thrifty Customers
Falling Prices Joined by Falling Punctuation

5/6/04 - Quite the day of action, as one of the Wal*Mart Supercenters in Joplin, MO had more than falling prices, as iterated in the subtitle.

It is the first known case of a piece of the store logo injuring potential shoppers, bucking the trend of injuring customers with falling products or from signs inside the store.

"Well, it could have been much worse," said bystander Jenny Whatever of nearby Badger Heights. "The 'W' or the 'M' could have killed them on the spot."

Wal*Mart, the hu-fuckin-mungous discount retailer that employs hundreds of thousands of non-unionized Americans and reported revenues of nearly $260 billion for fiscal year ending 1/31/04, could not be reached for comment, although a search party has been organized to find their headquarters in Bentonville, AK.

A campaign is underway by the family of the injured to have the incident get placement on the Wal of Shame. In any case, a lawsuit proving that Wal*Mart has done wrong is very plausible given the track record.

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