7/27/02 - The Bush Administration announced a formal timetable of all forthcoming military operations last week. The plan calls for several military strikes, outlined in the easy-to-read graph provided below

A military spokesman did not rule out strikes against other countries in 2006, 2010, 2014, 2018, and 2022: "They are possible, but the likelihood of such operations all depend on certain po...er...military data we have available at that time."

When asked why this particular plan was so heavily favored in the White House - and why it extended so far into the future, Ari Fleischer deftly replied, "This is the plan that we planned on planning and we plan on it," which resulted in wide applause.

Another reporter followed by asking how the plans might change should Iraq not exist on the dates presented. A pentagon official quickly pointed out that a "q" can easily be changed to "n" on the PowerPoint presentation being used at the press conference, causing Donald Rumsfeld to engage in a sharp guise of consternation. The comment was otherwise met with wide applause.

There were no more questions at the press conference, and all the reporters marched single-file out of the room and into a heavily guarded van from where they came. Two exceptions were the reporters who questioned Mr. Fleischer about the plan. They were properly beaten and disposed of by Operation TIPS guards.