|
 Astronomers,
physicists, and various religious cults remain stumped for
an answer on how a neon sign along westbound I-80 in Indiana
(above) could have possibly triggered the heliocentric alignment
of the planets of our solar system (right). The reaction by
most has been bewilderment (below).
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Following Opening of Weigh Station Along
Ohio/Indiana Border, Planets Unexpectedly Arrange In Heliocentric
Alignment
1/14/04 -
"It certainly was an odd occurrence," said Ed Fred of
Courtney Corner, Indiana. "I never thought I'd see that happen
in my lifetime."
Ed was referring to the opening of the weigh
station on I-80, viewable from his ranch on County Road 700. Of
course, although big in Ed's world, he was oblivious to the effect
this event had on the cosmos, specifically, complete and other defiance
of Newtonian gravity laws, Einstein's theory of relativity, and
those other "rules" of the cosmos.
Scientists and the occasional cult are collectively"head-scratchin'"
following the discovery that eight of the nine known planets in
our solar system had suddenly aligned linearly with the sun. Pluto
could not be reached for comment.
The time: 8:07.628 Greenwich Mean Time -
the exact point at which power to the "OPEN" indicator
under the "Weigh Station: 1/2 Mile" was turned on.
While it remains to be seen what effects the
planets of the solar system will have on each other, or how long
they will remain in alignment, Ed is only concerned with the noise.
"Me me me me me me me me me me me me
me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me
me me me me me me me me me me me," says Ed, sitting by us at
the Humor is Dead satellite office here in Fort Wayne. This is Ed's
first trip to Fort Wayne, and boy is he frightened.
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