The Bushes Are Coming! The Bushes Are Coming!

3/23/02 - Dubya's cousin Jamie Bush is reportedly considering a run for lieutenant governor of Massachusetts. We're fairly confident that this will go away, nice and quietly, real soon, and there won't be any trouble.

Another Bush, however, has managed to take his bid for re-election in Florida right to the doorstep of our Boston office. We don't know where to start.

I suppose we start by clearing the Humor Is Dead name, for being on the list to receive campaign contribution letters from the Bushes. The intended recipient is an ex-roommate, who had an ex-boss use his name in order to give another $1,000 to Dubya's 2000 campaign for President. You have to wonder if after all this Campaign Finance Reform fuss, it really means a damn anyway.

Also, odd or ironic, that with all the effort the Republicans in Florida put into shaving the lists of eligible (and Democratic) voters in Florida, they can't find time to correct the addresses of wealthy campaign donors that moved out nearly 18 months ago. But thanks for the fodder, and keep the letters coming!

"Will you help me today by joining our Republican Party of Florida Victory 2002 team? Here is what I need you to do right away: Enclosed is a Personal Endorsement Form with your name printed on it. Please take out your pen right now, sign the endorsement form, and return it to me..."

Cram the pen in your chadhole, Jeb. Who do you think you're talking to, your brother? I've heard television evangelists with less crassitude.

"Second, when you send me your endorsement form, will you also send me your largest contribution to Florida Victory 2002?"

What?

"And so I simply must have your help."

We get the picture, well said. Below are the full four pages from Jeb, the "Florida Victory 2002 Endorsement Card", and hell, the letter it came in, complete with non-profit stamp and the alert "Critical 2002 Personal Endorsement Enclosed" emblazened across the front. Share with friends, print it out, feel free to send comments to jeb2002@humorisdead.com. How many lies, instances of irony, and/or bad sentence structure can you find?

Click the images the enlarge. And hey, print out the endorsement form and help 'ol Jeb out. -ed